How do you choose the right therapist for yourself? If trying to find the right fit overwhelms you, then you need to read on. I will explain to you the top 5 must-have qualities your ideal therapist will possess.

People counseling / therapy services for lots of reasons: relationship issues, grief and loss, addiction, work stress, traumas, mood disturbances, life transition…..The list can go on and on and on.

All of these can eventually boil down to one simple statement, “I want something better” or “I want to work things out.”

Sounds extremely simple and legit, right? Anyway, who didn’t want to live a better life?

Unfortunately, many people tend to overestimate how much they are ready for positive changes they want in life (emotionally). Or they might have underestimated how much a commitment they signed themselves up for.

Yes, we all know that wanting better things is one thing, but doing what it takes to GET THEM is quite another.

For example……

—— Are you willing to let go of a fun party because you need time to study for better school grades (assuming you can’t do both at the same time) ?

Or

—— Are you willing to follow your doctor’s health advice by walking away from the old but unhelpful habits?

Or

—— Are you willing to review your own inventory or clear your side of street when working on your relationships?

Or

—— Are you willing to confront what held you back (fear, excessive guilt, rescue fantasy, etc.) when trying to set and uphold healthy boundaries with yourself and others?

……

All the satisfied clients of mine, before they achieved their breakthroughs in therapy, were all challenged by similar concerns.

Of course, they tried to avoid the pain of changing because walking away from their comfort zone takes so much strengths, faith and courage that they thought they did not possess.

Second comes a question regarding what to let go of.

Anyone who had experienced house cleaning will find it understandable. In order to make our homes/offices nice and tidy, the first thing to do is decluttering rather than decorating. Without tossing what’s no longer needed, the project will not get a kick start.

The same holds true for you.

Drunk food, unhealthy life style, harmful behavioral patterns, unhelpful mindset, outmoded coping mechanism, unresolved business/traumas/losses, codependency, fear, anxiety, painful hopelessness, depression……Whatever held you back from living a full life could be on this to-go list.

Third, consider what to keep for the future.

We are not living in an all-or-none world. Many desirable attributes are likely to pose challenges to our health and relationships when we practice it with rigidity, out of balance or without discretion. For example, if someone values work to a harmful extend, he/she may be at risk of becoming a workaholic.

Of course, it doesn’t mean that s/he had to go to another extreme to work on life-work imbalance. So don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.

Like what many of my clients told me, it is easier said than done when trying to figure out how to build a new/better life.

Therefore, for those who find it hard to work on their concerns/issues, seeking professional help can be necessary, appropriate and beneficial.

(I am very interested in knowing what you think of this topic. Please feel free to share with me and post them in comment box. Thanks! I see you soon.)

It all begins with an idea.

It all begins with an idea.